The Harmful Rays of the Moral Vacuum

The Harmful Rays of the Moral Vacuum
Please be advised that for your safety you must exit this blog on foot, calmly and quickly.

Monday, February 15, 2010

New Feature: Awful Products As Seen on TV

I am a longtime fan of the schlocky commercials and lengthier infomercials that marketers use to hawk their dubious products on late night television.  It was well reported last year that producers of infomercials were experiencing a boon due to the recession.  The makers of products such as the Snuggie who otherwise would have been unable to afford prime time advertising found that their ad dollars stretched much further due to the downturn.  Despite the recent and untimely death of pitch man par excellence Billy Mays, the "As Seen on TV" industry seems to be thriving.  Which brings me to a the introduction of a new feature of this blog, Awful Products As Seen on TV.

I will use this feature to highlight infomercials and products marketed through infomercials which I find particularly strange, disturbing, or tasteless.  If you have any suggestions, I am all ears.  For my inaugural entry, I submit a product which could be the solution for America's obesity crisis.  This ingenious product is called Perfect Fit.  Is it a diet plan?  An exercise routine that easily fits into the busiest schedule?  Nope!  The product in question is more formally known as the Perfect Fit Button.

Essentially, Perfect Fit is a kit which enables you to resize the pants which you have outgrown from too many trips to Arby's.  Consisting of a button and a patented lock tight cap backing, the kit snaps into place without sewing.  As the people at Perfect Fit would have it; "Before, pants too tight!  After, pants just right!"  The infomercial helpfully notes that the product also works to adjust pants when you have lost weight.  But I have my doubts that many people buy the product for that reason. 

The opening scene of the commercial features a typical looking "dad" type of guy adjusting his uncomfortable jeans at the dinner table.  "Oh no!  That button is ready to pop! Stop!," breathlessly exclaims the narrator.  And we all need to stop.  Eating, that is.  This product itself is actually quite clever.  I'm not sure that it's like having a professional tailor available at all times, as the commercial claims, but it's still a pretty good idea.  The most disturbing thing is the widespread need for it.  Surely a commentary on our society at large. Haha, see what I just did there?

No comments:

Post a Comment