tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15375506496258649772024-03-05T01:02:03.503-05:00The Moral VacuumMusings on life, pop culture, the bizarre, and anything that strikes my fancy.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-19373611200291705212010-12-15T18:41:00.000-05:002010-12-15T18:41:07.979-05:00How'd you like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIwZxvdwxsnu7PK77_jZZfKWTMRO5p-EAtgj7yA2m6KeFPsnPbLewxHFeGjVDshFe4tefd9AsY9iBXUCI79d_4dEWhc4M2GSuBCgdVpfyeZsWPRHIzMM_WMA9sk_8oXGdm7hWyJk-nyKAW/s1600/Music_album_record_white_christmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIwZxvdwxsnu7PK77_jZZfKWTMRO5p-EAtgj7yA2m6KeFPsnPbLewxHFeGjVDshFe4tefd9AsY9iBXUCI79d_4dEWhc4M2GSuBCgdVpfyeZsWPRHIzMM_WMA9sk_8oXGdm7hWyJk-nyKAW/s1600/Music_album_record_white_christmas.jpg" /></a></div>I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but it's my blog and I will do as I please. Now silence, you insolent fools! I'm about to drop some holiday cheer on you. Read on, dear friends.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>The late, great crooner <a href="http://www.bingcrosby.com/">Bing Crosby</a> is one of my style icons. The man could rock a cardigan, and sadly, according to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Crosby_%28actor%29">some of his children</a>, he could throw a mean punch. Der Bingle is almost synonymous with Christmas, due in large part to his star turn in the 1942 film classic, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034862/">Holiday Inn</a>. That film introduced perhaps Bing's most well known song, the Irving Berlin penned "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Christmas_%28song%29">White Christmas</a>." The song was such a hit (in fact, it is the best selling single of all time!) that it became the lynchpin of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Christmas_%28film%29">1954 film of the same name</a>. One of the likely reasons that the song was so popular is that its wistful lyrics struck a chord with servicemen serving overseas.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6wZ-tiJTn0xCK_nqMeZBvpmjaJd9f3e4N8kgta0KP-fWq_xLkjdZnxbAHLbcooGvQLzGUCUR0XAe2prUtZ6KdBSe4PXIHDLZGaNrFJIp7dJY5LlyA4thR_-MZlyv1EUc0RlykIQxlXS7l/s1600/27109e43-6fa3-47e3-b3a0-9857ddfd1f51.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6wZ-tiJTn0xCK_nqMeZBvpmjaJd9f3e4N8kgta0KP-fWq_xLkjdZnxbAHLbcooGvQLzGUCUR0XAe2prUtZ6KdBSe4PXIHDLZGaNrFJIp7dJY5LlyA4thR_-MZlyv1EUc0RlykIQxlXS7l/s320/27109e43-6fa3-47e3-b3a0-9857ddfd1f51.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Shortly before his death in 1977, Bing recorded another perennial holiday classic, this one a duet with David Bowie. A <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/19/AR2006121901260.html"><i>Washington Post</i> article from a few years back</a> has the interesting history of how Crosby and Bowie's recording "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" came together. The original performance of the song, from Crosby's 1977 Christmas special is pure cheese, but delightful to watch. For your viewing pleasure...<br />
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Now watch Will Ferrell and John C. Riley's faithful take on the same from Ferrell's Funny Or Die site. Subtle hilarity...<br />
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<div style="font-size: x-small; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left; width: 512px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6f62088f27/peace-on-earth-little-drummer-boy-with-will-ferrell-john-c-reilly" title="from Will Ferrell, John C Reilly, Matt and Oz, Owen Burke, Shauna O'Toole, Kat Bardot, and FOD Team">Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy with Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/will_ferrell">Will Ferrell</a></div><br />
Another classic Christmas tune I really enjoy is "Christmas Island," performed by a number of artists over the years, including <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=___lTKpFBrY">Jimmy Buffett</a>. But my favorite version is the one <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J114sSwKc0M">performed by the Andrews Sisters with the Guy Lombardo Orchestra</a>. The real Christmas Island would not have been a good place to spend Christmas at mid-century, as the lyrics suggest. Rather, it was one of the test sites where the United States detonated an above ground atomic blast back in 1946. <br />
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I actually recently met a remarkable man who was at Christmas Island for the detonation. Over the summer, I was lucky enough to go on a tour of the former Atomic Test Site in the Nevada desert, something most people don't get to see. I had to go through an extensive background check, as site is still a highly secure facility under the auspices of the Department of Energy. Our tour guide, Ernie Williams, now in his late 70s, worked for the U.S. nuclear program for many years in the Nevada Desert and other locations. Among other interesting tidbits (he confirmed the existence of Area 51, but would say no more!) he recounted witnessing the Christmas Island "shot," as atomic test blasts are called. Ernie is a living treasure, and is cited in <a href="http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/archive/Top-Secret-Tourism.html">this article which gives a pretty good overview of the sorts of things you see on the tour</a>. Video of the Christmas Island shot is below.<br />
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Christmas Island, along with Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sister's recording of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEvGKUXW0iI">Mele Kalikimaka</a>, plays perfectly into the South Seas Exotica, or tiki craze of mid-century, another thing that was probably made popular by returning servicemen. Side note: When in Las Vegas, intrepid travelers must visit <a href="http://www.frankiestikiroom.com/">Frankie's Tiki Room</a> for a faithful take on a mid century tiki bar. It was designed by the grandson of Eli Hedley, who designed many of the best tiki rooms, including Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room.<br />
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For those who are interested in some holiday fare that doesn't bear the stigma of our atomic heritage, might I suggest "It Happened In Sun Valley" from the 1941 film "Sun Valley Serenade," a film featuring Glenn Miller and his Orchestra, which Netflix unfortunately does not carry.<br />
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See you in about six months, which is probably the next time I'll post here!Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-87610730002287195262010-06-12T14:10:00.000-04:002010-06-12T14:10:32.258-04:00I think it's about time for the NAACP to fold up shop. Their work is done.I try to avoid political, racial, and religious topics on this site, as well as other "third rails." This blog is sort of an escape from the pressures of my day to day, and I want to keep things light and airy. Once every so often, I read something so ponderous that it forces me to break my own rule. So here goes.<br />
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The Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP<a href="http://www.aolnews.com/article/hallmark-yanks-card-after-complaints-of-slur-against-black-women/19513764?icid=main%7Caim%7Cdl1%7Clink5%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolnews.com%2Farticle%2Fhallmark-yanks-card-after-complaints-of-slur-against-black-women%2F19513764"> has expressed outrage</a> over a Hallmark greeting card which has been on sale for three years and is intended for graduates. The card has one of those tiny voice chips in it and features those annoying cartoon rabbits, or whatever those creatures are supposed to be. The cartoon voices express pride at having graduated and a willingness to take on the universe, including "ominous black holes."<br />
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Anyhow, some old fool misheard the card as "black whores." The NAACP led a pressure campaign and got Hallmark to pull the card from its shelves and destroy the remaining stock. Some huge drugstores such as CVS and Walgreens have also pulled the card. The ever rapacious NAACP says that's not enough. They want an apology from Walmart. Apology for what?<br />
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If I were a Walmart exec, I would give them a counteroffer. You shut the hell up and it will prevent me from lodging a nuisance criminal complaint and from suing your organization out of existence. I am a firm believer that we have made great strides in race relations in this country. But presumably, there is something more important for the NAACP to be doing. This kind of organized thuggery and race baiting actually HURTS their argument. It stirs up racial resentment and it makes the NAACP look like a bunch of clowns. <a href="http://www.manhattan-institute.org/html/mcwhorter.htm">John McWhorter</a>, a brilliant linguist and scholar on race issues, writes that many civil rights organizations now encourage a culture of "victimology." This is a good case in point for McWhorter's thesis.<br />
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Perhaps the Los Angeles NAACP has outlived their usefulness?Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-41557691807214045442010-05-19T23:35:00.000-04:002010-05-19T23:35:00.070-04:00The people have spokenThe true genius of the founders was that they established a Democratic Republic. A system of governance in which when the people speak, the powerful must listen. Well the people have spoken, my friends. And I am not talking about <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/05/19/preston.primaries.analysis/">the political primaries last night</a>. Boooooooooorrrrrring! <br />
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I am talking about America's new favorite sandwich, the <a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/04/proud-moment.html">KFC Double Down</a>. The sandwich was supposed to only be available until this coming Sunday. But <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37233140/ns/business-consumer_news/">KFC has reported</a> that sales have been so brisk, they will continue to make the sandwich available for as long as it remains profitable.<br />
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Those corporate fat cats at KFC thought they could introduce the sweet, sweet Double Down to the American public and then take it away like a thief in the night. But we told those oligarchs. When you offer us a sandwich comprised of two slabs of chicken in lieu of bread with bacon strips and cheese and sauce in the middle, you must continue to make it available indefinitely. We are a proud people, and we deserve no less.<br />
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So remember, "Don't Just Feed Your Hunger--Crush It!" Head in to KFC for a delicious Double Down. The founders would be proud.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-67136486746410101802010-05-18T17:17:00.000-04:002010-05-18T17:17:12.246-04:00Plum Island Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtZZ1AZkum6tI-kpqb1bYtzMABDP7NCUYc30QqQ9fHCjoEs205Asn4J8GDZP0JFt_YZL8PH2EDFqC2MW09p4xWdgKZloCmJoydtFDqr4vg_HhsVxjS0dfJjVTh3GGmoUcMn2lEKFxpJJIt/s1600/homepg-print.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtZZ1AZkum6tI-kpqb1bYtzMABDP7NCUYc30QqQ9fHCjoEs205Asn4J8GDZP0JFt_YZL8PH2EDFqC2MW09p4xWdgKZloCmJoydtFDqr4vg_HhsVxjS0dfJjVTh3GGmoUcMn2lEKFxpJJIt/s320/homepg-print.jpg" /></a></div>Way back in January,<a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/01/anthrax-island-whodunnit.html"> I wrote about Plum Island</a>, a mysterious complex off of Long Island, NY where the U.S. government does secretive research on highly contagious animal diseases. Yesterday, a friend (thanks, Liz!) clued me in to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/17/mysterious-plum-island-sa_n_579338.html">a report on Huffington Post</a> that a local congressman has some serious questions about the proposed sale of the island. Rep. Tim Bishop has written to the House Homeland Security subcommittee to express his concerns about the sale. He says that a proposed replacement lab could cost more than $650 million, whereas the sale of the island might yield only $50 million to $80 million. Anyone in the market for beachfront property? Guess where they're slated to build the replacement? Manhattan! Manhattan, Kansas, that is. Guess I won't have to break out my gas mask and biohazard suit anytime soon.<br />
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Bishop, incidentally, faces a potential challenge from a <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i64Yhb0y27o-nDRcsgfesrHMR8BwD9FL1ODG0">30 year old grandson of Richard Nixon</a> who is one of at least six people seeking the Republican nomination to run for the Eastern Long Island seat.<br />
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I'd like to note a new addition to my resource list on the right hand side of this site. I have just linked to <a href="http://blacktieguide.com/">The Black Tie Guide</a>. The is billed as a gentleman's guide to evening dress, and it delivers. Most importantly, the site provides a simple guide to appropriate formal dress with pictures of dos and don'ts. I wish this site was required reading for anyone attending a Hollywood premiere, as even the richest and most famous actors tend to look like they're wearing piles of rags on the red carpet. In addition, the site gives a detailed narrative of the history and evolution of formalwear. Nerdy, I know, but you might find it interesting anyhow.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-47530124887698112512010-05-17T17:04:00.001-04:002010-05-17T17:06:13.708-04:00Who's up for some world music?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchvL7toMuEFplRaYNfDiqPVatEGjdr4b7_p-y1KzyRYchglWYw5EQlbkiPKiut7-ZJenLXyVyNDT6wAH_CYwbtcCbNWXzxvhopFWwf8qymakbHjA0O66eSIhb_LTqhLkiAR7CoWdwsCP1/s1600/Yatta2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchvL7toMuEFplRaYNfDiqPVatEGjdr4b7_p-y1KzyRYchglWYw5EQlbkiPKiut7-ZJenLXyVyNDT6wAH_CYwbtcCbNWXzxvhopFWwf8qymakbHjA0O66eSIhb_LTqhLkiAR7CoWdwsCP1/s320/Yatta2.jpg" /></a></div>In my <a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/05/believe-me-sun-always-shines-on-tv.html">previous entry,</a> I mentioned the breakup of A-ha. The music video for their greatest hit, "Take on Me" is iconic. If I asked you to think of a random 1980s video, chances are that one would pop into your mind. But most music videos from foreign pop acts don't translate so well here in the U.S. I'd like to share some of my favorites.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>The first is a somewhat unlikely classic from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daler_Mehndi">Daler Mehndi</a>, an enormously popular singer from India. Mehndi, who is known as much for his philanthropy as his music, styles himself the "<a href="http://www.dalermehndi.com/">King of Pop</a>." I suppose that is not an entirely outlandish claim, given his worldwide popularity and the deposition of the previous monarch of pop due to an untimely death. Mehndi's video for Tunak Tunak Tun was a huge internet meme around the year 2000. I still can't watch it without smiling. Despite my inability to understand a single word of his music, it's inexplicably infectious. And he really conveys the joy he has for performing in his videos.<br />
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The second video I'd like to commend to your attention is a Japanese offering, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happa-tai">Yatta!</a>" The Japanese were once perhaps the most militaristic society in history, and were responsible for the creation of the samurai, an incomparably fierce class of warriors. But you wouldn't know it after watching Yatta. The video features some of the most famous comedians in all of Japan. It was produced by a sketch comedy show to parody the boy band craze of the 1990s and early 2000s, as well as Japanese pop culture. The track was a surprise hit, and went multi-platinum. The distinguishing characteristic of the video is a large group of men attired only in underpants with green leaves pasted over the front doing synchronized choreography. But you really need to watch it to get the full effect.<br />
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If that's not enough Yatta for you, a version with english subtitles can be found <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0MIG_VRFDU">here</a>. Or if you prefer live music, here's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgFCCQFTkXw">a performance</a> that aired on the Jimmy Kimmel Show and was followed by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG3rbcGWwdA&feature=related">an interview</a> in which the group members presented Jimmy with a leaf of his own.<br />
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Here's one I somehow found out about only last week. But first, let me remind the reader that the Germans were once perhaps the most militaristic society in history. Back in the late 1970s, a West German novelty act called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genghis_Khan_%28pop_group%29">Dschinghis Khan</a> (that's Genghis Khan for those of us who don't speak German) was created for the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_Song_Contest">Eurovision song contest</a>. For those of you who don't know what Eurovision is, just sit in any cafe in Astoria, Queens where obnoxiously loud techno is playing on a Sunday morning and you're bound to hear someone prattle on about it. In advance of the 1980 Moscow Olympic Games, Khan released a disco song called, appropriately enough, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moskau_%28Genghis_Khan_song%29">Moskau</a>."<br />
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The original video can be viewed <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQAKRw6mToA">here</a>, but I have embedded a much more fun version below. A guy on YouTube who calls himself <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/buffalax">buffalax</a> creates what he calls "buffalxed" music videos. These are foreign language music videos which he subtitles in "english." Mind you, these are not translations of the lyrics into english. Rather, he subtitles the videos based on what it sounds like the singers are saying. At 31 seconds in, there is a chilling warning for yours truly. And at 44 seconds in, Khan appeals to your prurient side.<br />
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For good measure, here is one more of buffalax's efforts, "Benny Lava." I defy you not to laugh.<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZA1NoOOoaNw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZA1NoOOoaNw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-36750336682042698622010-05-13T17:14:00.000-04:002010-05-13T17:14:07.756-04:00Believe me, the sun always shines on TV<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEVy4N3iQl4chGvqtKpIjjdyHtnwK2CeZWPu-oq-q7l-s_IZPJodIN4-Kzat4sL_JZGaY4X2peyVfhVoOjUMmgDdzFUJVNPpZ5OjTzq9xs1ZpsIMsI6Kd3mcUpp4hSysrF4Ha3Nf-RLE8J/s1600/tumblr_l29vm30ZHt1qb5brc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEVy4N3iQl4chGvqtKpIjjdyHtnwK2CeZWPu-oq-q7l-s_IZPJodIN4-Kzat4sL_JZGaY4X2peyVfhVoOjUMmgDdzFUJVNPpZ5OjTzq9xs1ZpsIMsI6Kd3mcUpp4hSysrF4Ha3Nf-RLE8J/s320/tumblr_l29vm30ZHt1qb5brc.jpg" /></a></div>Here's <a href="http://nydrinker.com/post/590356461/blarney-stone-bar-crawl">a piece in the NYDrinker</a> which takes me back to my college days. My friends and I used to spend our leisure time at a watering hole called the Blarney Stone. Founded by a man named <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/1991/03/26/obituaries/daniel-flanagan-85-founded-blarney-stone.html">Daniel Flanagan</a>, the Blarney Stone was a chain of dive bars which catered mainly to the lunchtime construction worker crowd. By some accounts, there were more than 30 Blarneys at one time in New York, plus similarly named imitators that did not want to kick up to Mr. Flanagan. Based on my knowledge of the four that I have been to, I am sure that each location was more dingy than the last. Alas, there are now only five Blarney Stone pubs left, including the one from my college days (though that's not entirely true, as even that one closed and reopened around the corner when I was a senior). The NYDrinker piece documents a daytime pub crawl they went on of the remaining five. Hat tip and photo credit to <a href="http://nydrinker.com/">NYDrinker</a>. I will be sure to take a closer look at their site.<br />
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In other food news, I just read on the <a href="http://ny.eater.com/archives/2010/05/ill_advised_boozeless_tpoutine_shutters_after_nine_months.php">NY Eater blog</a> that T'Poutine has shuttered it's doors. Poutine is sort of the national food of Canada. It is essentially french fries smothered in brown gravy and topped with cheese curds. Sort of similar to what those of us who grew up with local diners and luncheonettes would call "Disco fries" or "Elvis fries." I first heard of T'Poutine because of actor Michael J. Fox. During his presentation in the closing ceremonies of the Olympics a few months back, Fox mentioned poutine. It sounded delicious, so I searched for a place which serves it in New York. T'Poutine did, at least for a nine month period, but is apparently no more. For what it's worth, the Mrs. and I very much enjoyed our poutine when we made our one visit the weekend following the Olympics.<br />
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Here's <a href="http://www.popeater.com/2010/04/29/a-ha-split/?icid=main%7Cmain%7Cdl2%7Clink4%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.popeater.com%2F2010%2F04%2F29%2Fa-ha-split%2">some news</a> that made me go "Nooooooooooooooooo!" The 80s Nordic synthpop band A-ha, best known in the states for their infectious 1986 hit "Take on Me." While that song promised "I'll be gone in a day or two," A-ha was around for about 30 years. Apparently they were a huge act in other countries, despite only having two U.S. hits. Sort of like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8">David Hasselhoff</a>. A-ha's lesser known song to chart in the states was "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TfV92vVINY">The Sun Always Shines on TV</a>," which is a favorite of mine, although I have been advised by at least one friend that it is an incredibly effeminate song. Speaking of effeminate, here's a piece of trivia: I auditioned for high school show choir with "Take on Me." A-ha, you will be missed. I have embedded below their biggest hit, as well as Family Guy's take on the same, and the "literal video" version, which is always good for a laugh.<br />
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<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_EXxMlIExpo&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_EXxMlIExpo&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hSAHQXMwMnc&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hSAHQXMwMnc&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8HE9OQ4FnkQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8HE9OQ4FnkQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-56975201386107930402010-05-12T19:20:00.000-04:002010-05-12T19:20:37.528-04:00Cub Scouts encourage video gaming?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgePbvM9jxkRqK-pA-coH6iDtXCegebjlk-cIaaczdScXpT7YR7ye1NuVh5dcG2OQEkp0_HED2b7EcdwhfTR2ScBXGoAhhl3d3kB4d3KypMPQxBfHBMKWQDwPTvkID97iYOp16CNMQFTmVn/s1600/1272481138439.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgePbvM9jxkRqK-pA-coH6iDtXCegebjlk-cIaaczdScXpT7YR7ye1NuVh5dcG2OQEkp0_HED2b7EcdwhfTR2ScBXGoAhhl3d3kB4d3KypMPQxBfHBMKWQDwPTvkID97iYOp16CNMQFTmVn/s320/1272481138439.JPEG" /></a></div>I was a Cub Scout when the original Nintendo Entertainment System was at the height of popularity. My friend's mom was our Den Mother, and I remember how we used to sneak away during den meetings to consume snack foods and play classic games such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_%281989_video_game%29">Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Tyson%27s_Punch-Out%21%21">Mike Tyson's Punchout</a>. I have fond memories of my time in Scouts. I enjoyed many opportunities as a Boy Scout and Cub Scout which I would not have had otherwise as the kid of a single mom--such as camping. But while my time in Scouting came and went, video gaming is still an active part of my life (much to the dismay of my dear wife, who does not necessarily share my excitement for the latest X-Box releases).<br />
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I was surprised, given that we are in the midst of a childhood obesity epidemic which is <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/">the pet project of the First Lady</a>, that the Cub Scouts <a href="http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/boy-scouts-offering-video-game-merit-awards/19457731?icid=main%7Cmain%7Cdl3%7Clink6%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolnews.com%2Fweird-news%2Farticle%2Fboy-scouts-offering-video-game-merit-awards%2F19457731">have started offering a "Video Gaming" belt loop</a>. For the uninitiated, belt loops are the Cub Scout equivalent of merit badges. They are little metal tabs which slide around the military style webbed belt worn by Scouts. They also make putting the belt on or taking it off near impossible without sending little metal tabs flying all over the place.<br />
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This is likely an effort by the Boy Scouts of America to remain relevant in a time when kids are fixated by technology and gadgets. The requirements for the badge include selecting and purchasing an appropriate video game under the supervision of an adult, and playing a video game with a friend for one hour (though when do kids ever stop playing video games after one hour?). I fully intend to contact the Boy Scouts and request my retroactive video gaming belt loop based on all the hours I logged playing video games at Den meetings. I would personally prefer that new merit badges and belt loops be based around concrete real world skills. But I don't think this necessarily signals the death of physical activity for kids. Many of the children in my karate dojo spend hours playing video games, but they also do karate, play sports, and participate in other extra curricular activities. It's all about balance, as my wife likes to remind me.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-29412412004874062582010-05-11T18:25:00.000-04:002010-05-11T18:25:20.505-04:00Now My Life Has Changed in Oh-So-Many WaysAs a nod to my occasional "Awful Products as Seen on TV" features, I thought you would enjoy the video which I have embedded below. It is called "As Seen on TV - A Tribute to Doing it Wrong" and is a montage of the best moments from As Seen on TV commercials.<br />
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Saturday Night Live recently ran a pretty funny commercial parody with a similar premise.<br />
<object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/gFBcgbDZz22TKbyAc6I0Ww"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/gFBcgbDZz22TKbyAc6I0Ww" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-10407830915442841132010-05-10T18:24:00.000-04:002010-05-10T18:24:49.499-04:00Hulkamania is gonna run wild on you, brother!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_fo-dlcMbhd0j0yYzHmdbo6B5xgAYyzJUMj8FWixk0r9qWchd_TW92uUQlA6mLNH222T-aECSIMFT4CNB5NUPWqOz1Sgdp6doWbflzuJ-wx6_wjZT6HvkQPPRekrXnbxO4AydqTkHCLW/s1600/survivorseries91.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_fo-dlcMbhd0j0yYzHmdbo6B5xgAYyzJUMj8FWixk0r9qWchd_TW92uUQlA6mLNH222T-aECSIMFT4CNB5NUPWqOz1Sgdp6doWbflzuJ-wx6_wjZT6HvkQPPRekrXnbxO4AydqTkHCLW/s320/survivorseries91.jpg" /></a></div>On Wednesday, November 27, 1991, World Wrestling Entertainment (then known as World Wrestling Foundation, or WWF) held it's annual Survivor Series Pay-Per-View event. The main event was a bout between reigning WWF champion <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJr0M4Fsu34">Hulk Hogan</a> and relative newcomer <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZR46eP71hg">The Undertaker</a> for the World Championship belt. My nine year old world was about to be shattered.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>My mom never used to let us order the PPV events because they cost about 20 bucks a pop. So we used to have to wait to watch them when they would come out on VHS courtesy of a company called <a href="http://www.adamfirestorm.com/af/2009/07/13/a-look-at-wwf-coliseum-home-videos/">Coliseum Home Video</a>. If there was ever a testament to a mother's love, it's the number of Saturday nights during my early childhood which my mom spent going to the video rental store with my brother and I, hoping each time we would pick a movie, resigning herself to watching a pre-taped wrestling match, and eating Chinese food on the couch with us.<br />
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I knew when I awoke on Thanksgiving of 1991 that my hero the Hulkster had been forced to stare death directly in the face the night before. Did Hulk prevail against the Undertaker, a man who possessed seemingly otherworldly powers which emanated from an urn held by his valet, the creepy Paul Bearer? Of course, these were the days predating the internet, so it wasn't as though I could check the results on some blog. But as it happened, my mom was exchanging holiday pleasantries over the phone with a relative who had viewed the fight the night before. My brother and I eagerly waited for her to relay our request for news. Did Hulkamania, and Hulk's 24 inch pythons, which he earned hangin' and bangin' at Muscle Beach, California, take the day against the Undertaker? No. Hulk was defeated, the Undertaker aided by a cheap intervention by the classic heel Ric Flair. <br />
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I remember weeping bitterly and having to be consoled by my mother. She reassured me that despite the loss, Hulk would come back better than ever and was still the greatest wrestler. As a nine year old, I could not cope with the new and complex emotions I was feeling. It felt as though Hulk's failure was my own. As though a piece of me and everything I stood for had died and been buried by the Undertaker. How could a man who openly professed his love for America, who admonished children to say their prayers and eat their vitamins, have been bested by a scoundrel in a dark suit and white facial makeup with a vague connection to the occult?<br />
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As silly as it sounds, I learned a valuable lesson that day. Sometimes, the good guys don't always win, and life is not always fair. But outright victory is not always what makes a champion. A true champion labors away with or without recognition, whether the results favor them or not. A true champion rebounds from setbacks and is usually more concerned with self improvement than any other prize. I have tried to keep this lesson in mind over the past year or so as I have adjusted to the loss of my job, and a new career working from home. Mom was right. Hulk was still the greatest wrestler with or without his belt. And by the same token, I am capable of rebounding from what life throws at me.<br />
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I felt a little bit of that same sadness as a current hero of mine, Ultimate Fighting Championship competitor Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida was defeated by knockout on Saturday night and stripped of his light heavyweight championship belt. Of course, Machida participates in a sport where the fighting is real, so no intervention by "bad guys" or supernatural powers was necessary. That made it all the more unsettling to see him face up on the canvass. To say nothing of the fact that he trains in the same form of karate as me, and is much much better than I am, yet he flopped like a ragdoll. <br />
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I don't know what the future holds for Machida. He will likely never be UFC champion again, as his style of fighting is not the most exciting for casual viewers to watch. I could almost imagine management breathing a sigh of relief at his dethronement. Regardless, I eagerly await his next fight. Hulk Hogan for his part did regain his title, just a few days later in an early December 1991 <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pboYDHRWbU">rematch</a>. Gluttons for punishment can view Hulk's survivor series defeat <a href="http://fans.wwe.com/thewrestler500/blog/2009/05/31/undertaker_vs_hulk_hogan__suvivor_series_1991">here</a>. I don't think I will watch this anytime soon. Still too painful.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-31892549104757428012010-04-26T16:04:00.000-04:002010-04-26T16:04:54.609-04:00The Moral Vacuum's Adventures in Internet Journalism<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIzOgtzrZXZ7EV_JzAX3P1mIBQXOEXd3VxsswfHNDrnENCuPSxXvw4iaRo9r7P64nontexCapBIALfsDhnbGGKdvuiLR5BY_5OzEHTtfB2I28LjoT0ty8Q-XTU89nZeliFvkrmPGXHds4V/s1600/journalism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIzOgtzrZXZ7EV_JzAX3P1mIBQXOEXd3VxsswfHNDrnENCuPSxXvw4iaRo9r7P64nontexCapBIALfsDhnbGGKdvuiLR5BY_5OzEHTtfB2I28LjoT0ty8Q-XTU89nZeliFvkrmPGXHds4V/s320/journalism.jpg" /></a></div>It recently came to my attention that there are internet sites that get many more page views than this one. I was as shocked by this as I am sure you are, dear reader. (I know there is only one or less of you, which affords me the ability to give you the personal attention you deserve, including directly addressing you.)<br />
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In the course of my day job, I regularly work with the editors of a mostly conservative news and opinion site called <a href="http://pajamasmedia.com/">PajamasMedia.com</a>. They frequently accept submissions on issues outside of politics and hard news. For example, a recent piece on my favorite TV show, <a href="http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/mad-mans-third-season-comes-to-dvd/">Mad Men</a>. I thought it would be fun to write and submit a piece on one of my passions, mixed martial arts.<br />
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MMA is illegal in New York State despite being legal in the vast majority of other states. I wrote a piece in which I explained the sport of mixed martial arts to the uninitiated, and laid out the argument as to why it should be made legal. <a href="http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/the-battle-to-bring-mixed-martial-arts-to-the-empire-state/">If you'd like to read it, please do so</a>. And tell a friend! Between the two of us who are involved with this blog, I the writer and you my one reader, we must know upwards of ten people. Anyhow, from what I can tell, my piece did not go over well at all!<br />
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The first commenter questioned whether I was employed by any mixed martial arts promotion, or paid to write the piece. No, although I wish! UFC President Dana White, if you're reading this, please call me! A subsequent commenter made the convoluted assertion that the popularity of MMA is evidence that the worker class is growing more discontented and a revolutionary overthrow of capitalism is near. No, I'm pretty sure man has had an apolitical interest in combat sports since the dawn of time. <br />
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By about that point, the mixed martial arts superfans started to chime in. These later rounds of commenters chastised me for propagating what is known to superfans as the "<a href="http://www.gamecritics.com/fight-critic-zuffa-myth-debunked">Zuffa Myth</a>." I am not even going to explain what that is, but the short version is that no one outside of the devout MMA community would give a damn, so I used commonly accepted shorthand in describing the history of MMA.<br />
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I attempted in a response to explain to those superfans that my piece was meant for people who might not have heard of MMA, not those who care about minute historical details. So in summation, my piece was roundly rejected by fellow MMA fans, political radicals, and cynics alike. Also, my own mom, whose response to the piece was "DUDE! Why are you riding the UFC's jock?! Strikeforce is putting on much better matches at much cheaper production costs!12@!11" Geez, I didn't even know my mom watched MMA! I sure took a beating in my first attempt at internet opinion journalism, but hope to write other pieces in the future.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-33717973045232139892010-04-23T01:45:00.000-04:002010-04-23T01:45:37.065-04:00I Feel Better<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaCZN2N6Q_I">This music video</a> from U.K. based electropop band <a href="http://hotchip.co.uk/">Hot Chip</a> will either make you laugh out loud or give you nightmares. Or both. It starts out kind of slow, but at about :52 it gets positively nutty. Without giving anything away, my favorite parts are the flippant response at 2:00 and the way the guy in the center of the stage knowingly and wisely runs away at 3:13. Hot Chip's video gives new meaning to the phrase "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPNbvHIql0">dance battle</a>."<br />
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Here's one for those of you who have been living under a rock. Does anyone remember Insane Clown Posse, the supposed rap group best know for their serial hatred of Eminem and their moronic group of followers called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juggalos">Juggalos</a>? Not surprisingly they have been dropped from their label. Undeterred, they independently released an album the first single of which, "Miracles," tackles the hard questions.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs&feature=related">The video for Miracles</a> showcases special effects that look like they were done by a 12 year old. But as bad as the video is, the lyrics are worse. The song is meant to explain "that without explanation," but is really a laundry list of things with reasonable explanations that confound the mouth breathers of ICP. The best example is at 1:50... "F***ing magnets! How do they work?" But they earn bonus points for denouncing scientists as liars whose explanations for these miracles would just "leave them pissed." Oh, also, apparently there is "magic everywhere in this bitch." This video has been all the buzz on the internet for the past week or so, and was even <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi08uLTOGxs">parodied by Saturday Night Live</a>.<br />
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Bonus information on Juggalos: They are considered a gang in several states and have been involved in criminal activity up to and including murder. There is an annual Gathering of Juggalos (so be sure to avoid Cave-In-Rock, Il from August 6th to 9th of this year). And they show just how nonconformist they are by joining a subculture of people who dress, act and think alike.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-30539666896798083482010-04-21T22:59:00.001-04:002010-04-21T23:06:52.791-04:00The Fordham FlipSince we're now in the thick of baseball season, I thought it fitting to mention a baseball story that has been getting some national attention, and which concerns my alma mater. <a href="http://www.fordhamsports.com/sports/m-basebl/mtt/kownacki_brian00.html">Brian Kownacki</a>, <br />
Fordham's shortstop--apparently channeling <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFc7OHAB84w&feature=related">Willie Mays Hayes</a>--did a backflip over the catcher to score a run. The video, embedded below, really must be seen to be believed. For his efforts, Kownacki has gotten mentions in outlets including <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100421&content_id=9468692&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb">MLB.com</a> and <a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/382353-fordham-shortstop-becomes-internet-sensation-after-amazing-flip">The Bleacher Report</a>, which commented "<i>Fordham baseball isn't a big deal by any stretch of the imagination. Located in the East Bronx, Fordham is a secluded university with sub-par athletic facilities. Its basketball gym is the oldest remaining gym in Division I basketball. Across the street is the baseball field where no more than 100 fans will attend games—usually just parents and bored students.</i>" Harsh, but they have obviously visited Fordham.<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RW0bb2wxH5Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RW0bb2wxH5Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-55535722306059905512010-04-15T15:30:00.000-04:002010-04-15T15:30:57.054-04:00A proud moment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRO1ZhxIEV_Zrkm8l0tIAWCsC8Y5tW6EhcZJGfaFngCstjG048w33faNiLvKs1KoNBwYnZtkGSjdrqPNewMTATEGDA9VL5PyCdwONoFXLgL-bK8F7wMQuzZE3ddaV_S3V9aG88O9QY43Fs/s1600/doubledown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRO1ZhxIEV_Zrkm8l0tIAWCsC8Y5tW6EhcZJGfaFngCstjG048w33faNiLvKs1KoNBwYnZtkGSjdrqPNewMTATEGDA9VL5PyCdwONoFXLgL-bK8F7wMQuzZE3ddaV_S3V9aG88O9QY43Fs/s320/doubledown.jpg" /></a></div>I know it's been a long while since I have blogged at ya. But something has come to my attention that is of such grave importance that I couldn't allow it to go without comment. What has happened? Oh, it's really no big deal. American society has just reached the highest peak of awesomeness, that's all. I am speaking, you might have already guessed, about the <a href="http://www.kfc.com/doubledown/">Double Down</a>, a new sandwich from the chicken wizards at KFC.<br />
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The sandwich is, according to KFC nutrition scientists, "so meaty, there's no room for a bun." I commend them on their efforts at including a bun. I can only imagine how they toiled thanklessly in some dark basement laboratory trying to fit a bun around all that meat and cheese. But in the end, you can't fight the inevitable. And so, KFC was forced to release the Double Down <i>sans</i> bread.<br />
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The sandwich, which was released this past Monday, April 12th, is comprised of two pieces of fried chicken (presumably in lieu of bread), two slices of cheese, the Colonel's sauce, and bacon. For the health conscious, you can get the chicken bread in both grilled and original recipe versions.<br />
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This just makes me want to start chanting U-S-A! U-S-A! This sends a message to those who would oppose American, from rogue nations, to international terrorists. You know what that message is? "We are a people of great resolve. We invented the Double Down. Clearly we have no fear of death. Do you really want to test us?!"<br />
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By the way, this thing is <a href="http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-kfc-double-down-nutrition-facts-april12,0,6704631.story?track=rss">still healthier</a> than many other fast food items, believe it or not. Now <i>that's </i>American ingenuity.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-2408418053837735812010-03-25T20:16:00.000-04:002010-03-25T20:16:01.773-04:00Awful Products as Seen on TV: Shake Weights<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9coaYyg01K-3GxEjHiYnxnpJ3rQhLbG3UEACk6nG-nOuKc_XlAM4aJRLvrpCexvTfL6f0UewL3l5Rq3VThnHToEzhAR-xIqVDoxInm03koG9M3NBWfLncLOUJU1vcbecuLo7jo_UXjBF/s1600/shake_weight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9coaYyg01K-3GxEjHiYnxnpJ3rQhLbG3UEACk6nG-nOuKc_XlAM4aJRLvrpCexvTfL6f0UewL3l5Rq3VThnHToEzhAR-xIqVDoxInm03koG9M3NBWfLncLOUJU1vcbecuLo7jo_UXjBF/s320/shake_weight.jpg" /></a></div>Hello, ladies! If you're like me, you're looking for a revolutionary way to shape and tone your arms. Why shouldn't you have strong, sexy, sculpted arms which you're proud to show off? Well now you can, with <a href="https://www.tryshakeweight.com/flare/next">Shake Weights</a>. There's only one problem. Using the Shake Weights in a public setting might be rather... embarrassing.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Watch he original Shake Weights commercial below. What does the motion created by the patented "Dynamic Inertia" technology remind you of? Please also take note of the noise that the Shake Weights make when in use.<br />
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<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rVogg_0Hhus&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rVogg_0Hhus&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
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Apparently I am not the only one with a dirty mind. Below is a parody of the Shake Weights commercial, which is simply the actual commercial overdubbed with new audio stating the obvious.<br />
<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JIraYKHVkuI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JIraYKHVkuI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object> <br />
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In order to make this posting more "mom friendly," (really just in case my own mother ever reads this) I would like to submit this clip from the Ellen Show. Ellen loves Shake Weights, and regularly hands them out to guests. She has wryly observed that the Shake Weights work out "muscles I have never used in my life."<br />
<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m6VBrZx6jU0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/m6VBrZx6jU0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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Oh, and don't be jealous, fellas. They now sell "<a href="https://www.buyshakeweightformen.com/flare/next?etag=shakeweightforcom">Shake Weights for Men</a>." No thanks.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-64832180290316354122010-03-24T18:44:00.000-04:002010-03-24T18:44:54.147-04:00I Kick Ass for the LordThe 1992 zombie flick Braindead (which is incidentally Peter Jackson's best and most important work and is better known in the U.S. as Dead Alive) featured a Catholic priest who "kicks ass for the Lord." If you haven't seen the clip, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfkHkdu5IEI">watch it</a>. You will thank me.<br />
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While scouring the news today for work, I came across <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/FaithMatters/warriors-christ-fight-gods/story?id=10180581">this ABC News piece</a> about a Kentucky based church called Xtreme Ministries. The church, which caters largely to people returning from military service, is also a gym. Congregants train there, participate in mixed martial arts matches on Saturdays and hold church services there on Sundays.<br />
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As a fan of MMA, I have long observed a relationship between missionary Christianity and the combat sports community. Some of the earliest and biggest stars of the sport such as <a href="http://www.matt-hughes.com/">Matt Hughes</a> and <a href="http://www.jenspulver.com/">Jens "Lil' Evil" Pulver</a> are outspoken Christians. Fierce competitor <a href="http://www.rampage-jackson.com/">Quinton "Rampage" Jackson</a> is a Born Again, and considers himself "God's Street Soldier" as the tattoo on his arm reads. There is even a clothing line called "<a href="http://www.jesusdidnttap.com/">Jesus Didn't Tap</a>." The name means that much as a MMA competitor ideally refuses to "tap out" thereby yielding to his opponent, "Jesus didn't quit after going through unimaginable suffering and pain when he was crucified on the cross." I'm unsure of the significance of this trend, but it is interesting to say the least.<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Imxts4F9Tk&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Imxts4F9Tk&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
I <a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/03/portraits-of-serial-killer.html">previously posted</a> about serial killer Rodney Alcala, an amateur photographer whose work was released by police in hopes of identifying previously unknown victims. In an update to that story, detectives are <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2010/mar/20/local/la-me-alcala-photos20-2010mar20">currently fielding hundreds of calls</a> according to the <i>L.A. Times</i>.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-64895399429777177122010-03-22T22:38:00.000-04:002010-03-22T22:38:31.223-04:00Hatfields and McCoysThe current debate about healthcare reform and the political rancor surrounding the same made me think of <a href="http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/03/18/the-woodhouse-civil-war-over-health-brothers-trade-barbs-in-hig/?icid=main%7Cmain%7Cdl1%7Clink3%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.politicsdaily.com%2F2010%2F03%2F18%2Fthe-woodhouse-civil-war-over-health-brothers-trade-barbs-in-hig%2F">this article I recently read on Politics Daily</a>. The article concerns two brothers who are both political operatives who stand on opposite sides of the aisle. It hit close to home, as my brother and I both work in the policy realm on opposite sides. I like to think we comport ourselves better than these two guys.<br />
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Check out this great <a href="http://artofmanliness.com/2010/03/10/manly-slang-from-the-19th-century/">list of 19th century slang</a> from the always enjoyable <a href="http://artofmanliness.com/">Art of Manliness</a> blog. For the unfamiliar, Art of Manliness is dedicated to "reviving the lost art of manliness" and regularly posts pieces of old school wisdom for men. It meshes nicely with another favorite of mine, <a href="http://www.thefedoralounge.com/">The Fedora Lounge.</a> Due to an error of omission, Art of Manliness is not featured on this blog's resource list. I will correct that post haste.<br />
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In the spirit of classic manliness, I leave you with one of the most important and influential short silent films, "Larry Goes to the Market." Worthy of your two minutes, I assure you.<br />
<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s_40rM_L0s&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s_40rM_L0s&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-23744787532287997742010-03-19T16:06:00.000-04:002010-03-19T16:06:05.571-04:00Comfort Food<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9kaaJWNH6_967e5mfVna2O81eHqLUhIDCOGk3GtN3a2K-EnAvo7srGm3_DTvCH0ilfu39fExKbXk7P_Rgsr1yCzuLpZg5Z_akLRqD66dardglxVzhA1cMWgvJpZzmznBmcmGhwgR62sP/s1600-h/kraft.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9kaaJWNH6_967e5mfVna2O81eHqLUhIDCOGk3GtN3a2K-EnAvo7srGm3_DTvCH0ilfu39fExKbXk7P_Rgsr1yCzuLpZg5Z_akLRqD66dardglxVzhA1cMWgvJpZzmznBmcmGhwgR62sP/s320/kraft.jpg" /></a></div>My dear wife is in California visiting family for the next few days. As such, I am home alone for the first time in a very long time. I am learning that while cohabitation with a female domesticates a male to a certain degree, it also dulls many of his essential survival skills.<br />
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For example, food. I never learned any cooking skills beyond frying an egg (poorly, I might add) or boiling water. When I lived on my own, I subsisted mainly on Stouffer's TV dinners. The <a href="http://www.stouffers.com/Products/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductId=197&ServingSizeId=0&ProductGroupId=0&SearchText=turkey&ServingSize=&ProductGroup=&cP=1&isPOn=True">turkey one</a> is actually quite good. The <a href="http://www.stouffers.com/Products/ProductComments.aspx?ProductID=139">lasagna</a> is not bad, either. However, I have grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle since then. I have grown soft because I have my lovely wife's cooking to look forward to each night. I have not had to act as a hunter-gatherer for a long time, and it shows.<br />
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When I was a child, two of my favorite foods were tuna fish sandwiches with mayo and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. This still remains the case. The Barenaked Ladies lyric <a href="http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1463">"If I had a million dollars</a>, we wouldn't have to eat <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraft_Dinner">Kraft Dinner</a>, but we would, we'd just eat more" resonates deeply for me. I had a tuna sandwich for lunch today, so I can check that off the list. I have a feeling that I'll be having a box of Mac N' Cheese in the next few days.<br />
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Kraft Mac N' Cheese actually has a somewhat interesting history. It was introduced in 1937 in the U.S. and Canada. World War II contributed to the product's popularity as the rationing of meat and dairy created a need for hearty, meatless entrees.<br />
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At this point, it's a legacy brand. I know <a href="http://archives.cbc.ca/lifestyle/food/clips/8427/#">I am not the only one</a> who feels a nostalgic pang at the sight of "the blue box." There's just something about a foil packet of nuclear orange colored powder that spells delicious to me. Over the years, Kraft has marked Mac N' Cheese in many different variations made to appeal to kids (for example, Ninja Turtles, spiral shaped noodles, or pre-mixed cheese sauce in a pouch), but true aficionados such as myself know that these variations suck. The powdered sauce doesn't stick as well to noodles of shapes other than the traditional elbow. And the noodles themselves don't take on the right consistency when cooked. And cheese sauce in a pouch? That's just gross and it never tastes right.<br />
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The good folks at Kraft provide <a href="http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/search/SearchResults.aspx?#cm_re=1-_-1-_-NewSearch&searchtext=Macaroni+and+Cheese&u2=Macaroni+and+Cheese&scope=all&start=1&rsort=&scopetype=KR-Recipes">plenty of recipes</a> to fancy up your Mac N' Cheese, but I like it best the old school way. What does it say about me that one of my favorite foods has an <a href="http://brands.kraftfoods.com/TheCheesiest/">official website</a> hosted by an animated dinosaur, the Cheesasarus Rex? Hopefully that I have discerning taste.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-81391833096917342172010-03-16T19:13:00.000-04:002010-03-16T19:13:01.764-04:00Billz Classics: The College Years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLPK4oD8ApH341gFaKEx7gdj1oJ9ddBVeaHtG0TAdeI_WHlQu_454RR4drz46IoziotsbDB5N5x-5RKei4-1taXolqFSP_nRw2XLGJgirr2zvS2U7758ZrdKmJt4tcuShx3dXadojV9l5Y/s1600-h/military-portrait1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLPK4oD8ApH341gFaKEx7gdj1oJ9ddBVeaHtG0TAdeI_WHlQu_454RR4drz46IoziotsbDB5N5x-5RKei4-1taXolqFSP_nRw2XLGJgirr2zvS2U7758ZrdKmJt4tcuShx3dXadojV9l5Y/s320/military-portrait1.jpg" /></a></div>While in the process of putting together an application, I started to dig through my old college papers. In the fall of sophomore year, I took a class entitled "America Circa 2000." From what I recall, the professor led us through an examination of American culture and society at the turn of the 21st century. Deep within an old hard drive, I found several very short response papers which I wrote for that class. Unfortunately, the descriptions of the original assignments have been lost to the ages. So I'm not sure exactly what I was responding to. What I wrote for the first assignment made me laugh out loud and I thought it suitable for a fresh edition of Billz Classics. You will find the original one paragraph paper below, followed by my usual commentary.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>(Name Redacted)<br />
January 16, 2002<br />
America @ 2000<br />
Prof. (Redacted)<br />
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If I could live a life other than my own, I think it would have to be during the 1940's. I would live in Hollywood, California and be employed by MGM or Warner Brothers as a studio writer. I would write films for talents such as Jimmy Stewart and perhaps even direct them, in the style of Frank Capra. My office would be modest and cramped, consisting mostly of a desk and an old Underwood typewriter. I would be about 26 years old, single, and an ever present part of the LA night scene. Of course I would have a college education and be fairly well off on my studio salary, but a simple apartment would suit me. I would be in good health although I'd like the obligatory <a href="http://www.nurtureyourown.com/img/Camel-ad1.jpg">Camel</a> cigarette or shot of Jack Daniels as much as any screenwriter of the time. I would not lead a life unmindful of my civic duties. During the Second World War, I'd serve in the Army's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Motion_Picture_Unit">First Motion Picture Unit</a>, making films for propaganda and training purposes. It would be a pretty interesting and romantic life. <br />
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<b>Commentary: First off, I note with sadness that I am now several years older than this 1940s fantasy version of myself. I guess at the time I thought I would reach my professional peak by 26? Also, the 1940s me sounds like he is in better physical shape than the real world me of 2010. I have to commend him for his service to our nation, by the way. I wonder if he met Jimmy Stewart during his stint in the Army, or if they knew each other before the war? Did he meet Reagan? </b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid2z5VWf4RYWKvA02bxh0mmZe6eJ-5o82e-nUoWFlLmGZ-89OD1OjmBZuzuoxCgzjbOHXk3qhztwsUU124udb_IXf-Oy5QLzkr3khwdYqigVf_D9xRw1nTU_hialgCo1vZXY-PrechBsNq/s1600-h/Plb-stewart-gable.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid2z5VWf4RYWKvA02bxh0mmZe6eJ-5o82e-nUoWFlLmGZ-89OD1OjmBZuzuoxCgzjbOHXk3qhztwsUU124udb_IXf-Oy5QLzkr3khwdYqigVf_D9xRw1nTU_hialgCo1vZXY-PrechBsNq/s320/Plb-stewart-gable.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<b>College student Bill made a good call by incorporating the Underwood typewriter. He'd also need one of those <a href="http://www.electronixandmore.com/misc/fans.html">old fashioned fans</a> with a wire cage around the blade. I'm also envisioning a tall filing cabinet and his (my?) name in letters on a frosted glass pane in the door. The cliche loving me of 2002 had not seen much film noir, but he would have crapped himself during a viewing of the sublime <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D.O.A._%281950_film%29">D.O.A</a>. (Which is seriously underrated, by the way. And it's available to stream now on Netflix. Stop reading this and go watch it, NOW! Ok, you can finish reading this first.</b><br />
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<b>It's amusing to note that my infatuation with the style of the 1940s started so long ago. It wasn't until 2009 when I bought my first fedora! And started reading <a href="http://www.thefedoralounge.com/">The Fedora Lounge</a> message boards.</b><br />
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Ok, now that I'm done with my little flashback, I have a fun website to recommend that focuses on another relic of the past: vinyl records. <a href="http://lpcoverlover.com/">LP Cover Lover</a> features sometimes gorgeous, sometimes strange album covers. Check out <a href="http://lpcoverlover.com/2010/03/09/french-ticklers/">this ridiculously creepy French offering</a>.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-78531332999456155762010-03-15T20:12:00.000-04:002010-03-15T20:12:42.941-04:00Who's up for some snorkeling?Since <a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/03/hold-presses.html">my post last week on former Rep. Eric Massa</a>, it has come to light that his Navy shipmates have some pretty interesting stories. For one, Massa used to like giving men what he called "Massa Massages." Also, he is apparently a <a href="http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/03/eric_massa_groping_tickling_an.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h5">snorkeling enthusiast</a>.<br />
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Last week, I remarked that the events unfolding in the Massa scandal have the comedic pacing of a Saturday Night Live sketch. The writers at SNL were apparently unable to resist doing a send-up of Massa's escapades, featuring him in both the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/14/snl-takes-on-eric-massa-v_n_498267.html">cold opening</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/14/seinfeld-on-snl-massa_n_498284.html">Weekend Update</a> sketches. My favorite aspect of the cold opening is that before Massa gets in the obligatory "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" viewers are treated to a reenactment of his tickle fight with the congressional staffers he lived with. The reenactment goes down pretty much exactly as I picture the actual event. Massa even utters the phrase "Kill the old guy!" which is how he described the giant man pile he threw to celebrate his 50th.<br />
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Here's one that's good for a laugh. The always excellent Neatorama <a href="http://www.neatorama.com/2010/03/10/epic-movie-trailer/">linked to a mock movie trailer</a> by the comedy team <a href="http://britanick.com/">BriTaNick.</a> If this were a real movie, it would be guaranteed to win an Academy Award. After all, the trailer features the song "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHthbtSbGLM">The Dragon's Heartbeat</a>" from the "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" soundtrack. (You'll know it when you hear it.) The video is a brilliant spoof of Hollywood studio tearjerkers, and I think you'll enjoy it. See below.<br />
<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nFicqklGuB0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nFicqklGuB0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-64868079183946714692010-03-12T19:12:00.000-05:002010-03-12T19:12:28.268-05:00Portraits of a Serial Killer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWlTdj6as37HT1PyAUVcSIDb2dwezF4k7ITvVmWHO3LJEpNneV1f_YDE8S0Pv1aXtffN1oAzanX5Ms1hV95zxJeGDHR8TBVZT7QCxf9WSJQ5LcaKS0P965NVGNRoIjonpPT8iaAv3Kiwig/s1600-h/2011323862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWlTdj6as37HT1PyAUVcSIDb2dwezF4k7ITvVmWHO3LJEpNneV1f_YDE8S0Pv1aXtffN1oAzanX5Ms1hV95zxJeGDHR8TBVZT7QCxf9WSJQ5LcaKS0P965NVGNRoIjonpPT8iaAv3Kiwig/s320/2011323862.jpg" /></a></div><a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20000375-504083.html">Rodney Alcala</a> was <a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-19632-Salt-Lake-City-Headlines-Examiner%7Ey2010m3d12-Video-Serial-killer-Rodney-Alcala-kept-125-photos-of-victims-police-ask-for-help-identifying">convicted last month</a> of murdering a child and four women between November 1977 and June 1979. He is lead suspect in several unsolved murders, and has been linked to dozens of disappearances and deaths. He also had a knack for photography.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Police have just released 125 photos of women and children that Alcala kept stashed in a storage trunk. I can't help but be reminded of the storage locker scene in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H54cWqmf824">The Silence of the Lambs</a>. Chillingly, the cops believe that these photos may be trophies from unidentified victims. <br />
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Some of the pictures feature nudity or hardcore sexual acts, and have been edited to feature only the headshots. The police have already gotten some tips, including one woman who says that she is featured in some of the pictures. Alcala told her he could advance her budding modeling career. Here's to hoping that these pictures will help police to close some cold cases finally bringing closure for some victim's families. If you would like to take a look at the photographs, they are <a href="http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/photogalleries/localnews2011323273/1.html">here</a>. I must say, Alcala has an eye for composition.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuh3P_2HETI08YbUErNGkiEGhvVE6SB2sRwxgcOZV4JZVPmV-kL30meJfxBFErrCQdDrJNVB9wpy06l4yD4bSCjRJSA1fBK9JVNUmvrIxqx3dxmucpisTqSVo-x3sVTXead9R1nTJaSc55/s1600-h/10adco_CA0-popup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuh3P_2HETI08YbUErNGkiEGhvVE6SB2sRwxgcOZV4JZVPmV-kL30meJfxBFErrCQdDrJNVB9wpy06l4yD4bSCjRJSA1fBK9JVNUmvrIxqx3dxmucpisTqSVo-x3sVTXead9R1nTJaSc55/s320/10adco_CA0-popup.jpg" /></a></div><br />
On to lighter fare. Those of you who know me know that I am fanatical about "<a href="http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen/">Mad Men</a>," AMC's period drama about 1960s advertising executives. Toy maker Mattel <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/10/business/media/10adco.html?partner=rss&emc=rss">recently announced</a> that it is releasing four "Mad Men" themed Barbie dolls. I totally want them. Who says boys can't play with dolls? Alas, they are priced at $75 dollars each, so I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I could put that kind of money towards a new fedora or a herringbone coat.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-27574854595688967012010-03-10T18:11:00.000-05:002010-03-10T18:11:14.914-05:00Hold the Presses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN39dYRGNnbCiNIfuUNEstVjuFqqJMGEeCVziyuQ2C3xXXPP6LtTHU1UWthcrHVoKvmuHCIKQFE5qy8xx2nUjV_Ev8NHOSxFex0UlY-FsHyt_CwEsTEFxgQCiYF7Dka4QnD09bA8fR6kaM/s1600-h/newspaper+press.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN39dYRGNnbCiNIfuUNEstVjuFqqJMGEeCVziyuQ2C3xXXPP6LtTHU1UWthcrHVoKvmuHCIKQFE5qy8xx2nUjV_Ev8NHOSxFex0UlY-FsHyt_CwEsTEFxgQCiYF7Dka4QnD09bA8fR6kaM/s320/newspaper+press.jpg" /></a></div>Work and real life has gotten in the way of my blogging hobby. But I can only stay away from my dear reader(s?) for so long. Don't call it a comeback. Today, I'd like to focus on some news items. After all, it's important to stay abreast of current events.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>First, it is with sadness that I note the <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/03/10/corey-haim-memoriam/">passing of 1980s film star Corey Haim</a>, arguably the more talented of the pairing with Corey Feldman which Hollywood marketed as <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20047100,00.html">The Two Coreys</a>. Haim, only 38 years old, had battled drug addiction for years. He is best remembered by discerning moviegoers for his roles in the teen comedy <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4KJtDxTqWQ">License to Drive</a> and the vampire flick <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsv_NQFbQzo">The Lost Boys</a>. (As an aside, The Lost Boys is best remembered by discerning fans of the "The Doors" for one of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSDc1TF8MSA">worst cover songs in rock history</a>.)<br />
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Haim's drug of choice was crack cocaine. DJ AM, another celebrity (or is sub-lebrity a more appropriate term for these two guys?) also <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/11-years-sober-dj-succumbed-addiction/story?id=8456799&page=1">succumbed to crack addiction</a> after a period of recovery back in September of 2009. The ease with which crack paraphernalia can be purchased is stunning. DJ AM, in the process of filming an MTV program about addiction, was able to purchase a crack pipe from a New York City bodega. In fact, most bodegas in New York City sell crack pipes, which double as <a href="http://www.observer.com/2009/culture/last-crack-hipster?page=all">glass vials with crappy cloth roses</a> in them, or sometimes even as <a href="http://www.gearfuse.com/brooklyn-bodega-stocks-crack-pipe-pens/">ball point pens</a>.<br />
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I will never forget the time I learned about the cloth rose crack pipe trick. I was sent to visit L.A.'s notorious Skid Row for my previous employer about two years ago. For those fortunate enough to be uninitiated, Skid Row is a 35 square block area in which drug users, the homeless, and people who just want to check out of society have formed elaborate encampments. The area is ringed by most of the social service facilities in the Los Angeles area. Drug dealers ruthlessly ply their trade outside of addiction recovery centers and HRO housing units. The area has improved in recent years due to increased policing, but I still cannot emphasize how awful it is. I would describe it as literally having the same vibe as New Orleans, where the streets are filled with hundreds of revelers. Except the revelers are hopped up on crack, heroin, and other drugs.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtkVS3r6EKzJkXAC6ei7-QwJ0EaF2f6orF-E_lbzBoh6vWjcpYp2Sd_33Ztxga10TgU5IFVZbRLR9G7vUFvnILBH4xkBxHr9xpHWyDzZdL0rb3XXB1b4VXWaSnRyYIUdieD1O9d9iA5k6-/s1600-h/DSC00933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtkVS3r6EKzJkXAC6ei7-QwJ0EaF2f6orF-E_lbzBoh6vWjcpYp2Sd_33Ztxga10TgU5IFVZbRLR9G7vUFvnILBH4xkBxHr9xpHWyDzZdL0rb3XXB1b4VXWaSnRyYIUdieD1O9d9iA5k6-/s320/DSC00933.JPG" /></a></div><br />
I was given a personal tour by the man who at the time commanded the Skid Row police precinct. He pointed out to me how the streets were littered with broken balloons (used to transport heroin), and cloth roses. "Did you ever wonder who would buy those <a href="http://www.wpxi.com/news/4449347/detail.html">crappy trinkets</a> that they sell at gas stations?," he asked me. As we were walking around, we interrupted several people in the act of brazenly smoking crack. Many of the people there had been using and living on the streets for years. They looked like extras from a zombie film, but they were real. The police commander told me with frustration that the local bodegas sell paraphernalia and malt liquor to the people in recovery and that their crackdowns on this grim commerce never take hold.<br />
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On to a lighter story, that of (former) Congressman Eric Massa. For those who haven't been keeping up on this unfolding news item, Massa first <a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-21300-Rasmussen-Polls-Examiner%7Ey2010m3d8-Rep-Eric-Massa-blames-health-care-debate-on-his-early-retirement">announced</a> that despite only being in his freshman term, he would not run again. Most presumed this was because his cancer had relapsed. Then surfaced allegations that Massa acted inappropriately with male staffers. <br />
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Massa <a href="http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/house/eric-massa-to-resign-from-cong.html?wprss=thefix">copped to using inappropriate language</a> within the confines of his office, and attributed this to a difficult adjustment after his long service in the Navy. He announced that rather than retiring at the end of the year, he would resign effective in several days. But the story keeps going. It's like some sort of bizarre gift. I do not mean this in a political sense. People from all walks of life and all political leanings make mistakes. Massa admirably took ownership of his inappropriate behavior, at least the behavior that has as of yet come into the open. And listen, if the guy did engage in consensual behavior with some male staff members, that is between him and his wife.<br />
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But this has become something bigger and more important than a national news story with implications for the November midterm elections. It has become comedy gold. The scandal keeps snowballing, and Massa keeps taking ownership of new, increasingly questionable behaviors. He has now <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/03/09/massa-groped-sexually/">admitted to groping male staff members</a>, but not sexually. What he describes is essentially a huge man pile that he put together in celebration of his 50th birthday. At a sort of frat house where he cohabited with several male staff members. Which a key staffer warned him was not a professional place to live.<br />
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For the record, Massa <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/eric-massa-explains-groping-allegations-abrupt-resignation/story?id=10057134">prefers to describe what went on as tickling</a>, rather the groping. And he says that by comparison, some of the hazing that goes on in the Navy looks like "an orgy in Caligula." I have no doubt that he is correct, given what I have heard about some Navy rituals. But this story has the pacing of a Saturday Night Live sketch. <br />
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First he admits to some slightly off color behavior. Then he ramps it up a notch. And there's got to be more. Stay tuned to this story. I believe it will get to the point where we hear Massa say things like "Yes, I was wearing leather chaps and a spiked motorcycle jacket in a Turkish bathhouse while a team of young Filipino men gave me a hot oil rub down. But it was a non sexual rubdown, and I was only in the bathhouse investigating the plight of the small business owner in today's volatile economy." I do have to give Massa credit for resigning rather than dragging out his self destruction like some <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/06/nyregion/06paterson.html">other New York politicians</a>. I'm sure the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/10/nancy-pelosi-massa-is-a-v_n_493024.html">leadership of his party</a> is grateful for that. Now it's up to embattled New York Governor David Paterson as to <a href="http://www.13wham.com/news/local/story/NY-29th-Gov-on-Special-Election-As-Soon-as/5xAikOXaY0Shw2wO85iVBA.cspx">when to call a special election</a> to fill Massa's seat. I did not mean that last line as some sort of pun alluding to Massa's behavior, by the way.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-75156283609757469912010-03-05T20:32:00.000-05:002010-03-05T20:32:55.887-05:00For your viewing pleasureIt's been far too long since I've posted, but I'm too lazy today to write something of substance. When it comes to a lack of substance, nothing beats YouTube clips. I present for you a small sampling of my favorites.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>A few years back, there was no such thing as the Tea Party movement. But the creative geniuses at Smirnoff invited us a Tea Par-tay with a couple of straight gangstas.<br />
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<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PTU2He2BIc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PTU2He2BIc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
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I consider Bing Crosby one of my style icons, and I love the movie White Christmas. But I was shocked to find out about this hidden subtext.<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vvd9pajCZJE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vvd9pajCZJE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
This is funny, but it still doesn't answer what Meatloaf won't do for love.<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HTPko-aXvJM&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HTPko-aXvJM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
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One of my favorite late night commercials. Try not to let the jingle get stuck in your head.<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WYS5NtRXlZQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WYS5NtRXlZQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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For those nostalgics out there. You'll get caught up in the...<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rCwn1NTK-50&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rCwn1NTK-50&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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He doesn't have all night, ladies.<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/B2v-AkSj260&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/B2v-AkSj260&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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In which the Fonz and Henry Winkler both do their part to keep the children of 1984 safe from pedophiles. The song at 1:27 really cleared things up for me.<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/agK2uZBNbnU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/agK2uZBNbnU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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And in the name of diversity, two non YouTube resources which I encourage the liberal use of. For those writers out there, check out the twitter feed of the <a href="http://twitter.com/fakeapstylebook">Fake AP style book</a>. It's half as useful but ten times more fun than the real <a href="http://twitter.com/ApStyleBook">AP style book</a>. And for those who wonder what Twitter would have been like in days of old, check out <a href="http://twitter.com/TweetsofOld">Tweets of Old</a>. Hilarious excerpts from turn of the century newspapers.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-84412190842525573292010-03-01T14:54:00.000-05:002010-03-01T14:54:41.641-05:00Something to chew on<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTDuImo4RGtm52TIMO8MAkTPmy9xZLQWkOKlTxp2BHDiyDrejhD-Wqaz9s9Yf26bmIgvXanr173Z5KLyQw0rFSpO5vyvRDwf08CWg1FQ33JRdB62Kyxo_LKhwZZjc2kLQkDKw1pLgUt23m/s1600-h/dental-b-500-bc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTDuImo4RGtm52TIMO8MAkTPmy9xZLQWkOKlTxp2BHDiyDrejhD-Wqaz9s9Yf26bmIgvXanr173Z5KLyQw0rFSpO5vyvRDwf08CWg1FQ33JRdB62Kyxo_LKhwZZjc2kLQkDKw1pLgUt23m/s320/dental-b-500-bc.jpg" /></a></div>In a <a href="http://themoralvacuum.blogspot.com/2010/01/nothing-but-tooth.html">previous posting</a>, I wrote of my misadventures at the oral surgeon getting my two left wisdom teeth removed. To say that the extraction did not go well would be a massive understatement. Today, I had the right side done. Overall, the process went better this time but it was still no picnic. When I went for my follow-up consultation after the last extractions, I requested some sedatives this time. I'm afraid of being put under, but I wouldn't have minded being nicely scrambled. What follows are actual snippets of conversation I had with the surgeon and his staff.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>ME: I told them when I had my stitches removed last month that I wanted an IV sedative and some gas this time.<br />
STAFF MEMBER: WHAT?! I really doubt you need that.<br />
ME: I had a very rough time the last time.<br />
STAFF MEMBER: Um, ok, let me ask the doctor about that.<br />
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DOCTOR: Bill, how are you doing? <br />
ME: Ok, Doctor. Had a bit of a rough go of it the last time, hmm?<br />
DOCTOR: Wasn't rough for me!<br />
ME: Well it was rough for me. I think I'd like the IV drip this time, as well as some gas.<br />
DOCTOR: You have to keep in mind, son, that we're removing teeth. Not your heart.<br />
ME: Well, regardless...<br />
DOCTOR: We'll give you some "<a href="http://www.dentistry.com/articles/Benefits_of_Nitrous_Oxide.aspx">sweet air</a>" this time. That should take some of the edge off.<br />
DOCTOR (Looking at chart): UGH! I see the insurance hasn't reimbursed us from the last procedure.<br />
ME: Well, I got a note from your office that they needed "more information" and I called them to find out what was up. They say payment is pending...<br />
DOCTOR: That's what they say when they want to stall. They know damn well the work we did.<br />
ME: Well, if I could expedite things for you...<br />
DOCTOR: No, it's ok. These people expect us to work for nothing!<br />
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I was a bit nervous during this exchange, as you don't want to anger the man who is about to yank your teeth. The matter of my insurance being settled, he then hooked me up with the nitrous oxide apparatus. You know, the funny mask that you wear over your face. I tried to fantasize that I was a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCTJmXrgsFg">fighter pilot on a crucial mission of national security set to awesome 80's music</a>.<br />
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DOCTOR: Now, breathe normally.<br />
ME: In through the nose, out through the mouth?<br />
DOCTOR: You know, normally. How you would usually breathe.<br />
ME: I tend to breathe through my mouth quite often. I know it's a bad habit, but...<br />
DOCTOR: I mean, if I have to explain to you how to breathe, I think we're overthinking this a bit...<br />
ME: ...<br />
DOCTOR: Here, I'll put some gauze in your mouth to prevent you from breathing that way.<br />
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The extractions were done with much more quickly this time. But the sutures? Those were another story entirely. For whatever reason, I was unable to open my mouth wide enough for him to get the stitches done. As far as I was concerned, I was opening my mouth as wide as humanly possible. I think perhaps it was drooping due to the numbness of the Novocaine and the influence of the laughing gas. The dentist was not pleased and he made it known.<br />
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DOCTOR: Bill, open your mouth as wide as you can.<br />
ME (with a mouth full of suction tubes and retractor clamps): EYEAHHH AHMMM TRYUNK! UNG!<br />
DOCTOR: In all of my life, I have never had a more difficult time with stitches!<br />
ME: EYEAH UM SORRIEUH!<br />
DOCTOR: I mean, seriously, the sutures are taking longer than the extraction.<br />
ME: .... GAH!<br />
DOCTOR: About twice as long as the extraction!<br />
DOCTOR (to kind dental assistant): Get the suction out of the way! It's bad enough that I have to fight with him! Get out of the way! And get his tongue out of the way, too, while you're at it!<br />
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Note: After I was finally all stitched up, the kind dental assistant told me that I was not a bad patient and that the doctor is getting older and therefore more cranky when things do not go 100 percent his way. I asked if she could find my intact top tooth, as she gave me one the last time. I think it would be cool to have them polished and made into cuff links like <a href="http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question51084.html">Meyer Wolfsheim</a> in the <i>Great Gatsby</i>. I'm kidding. Sort of. Unfortunately, the top tooth had already been thrown away, but I did get a sizable chunk of the impacted lower tooth, which had to be broken into pieces with a drill.<br />
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Bonus bits of dental history: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horace_Wells">Horace Wells</a>, a Connecticut dentist, was the first to discover the nitrous oxide could be used as a dental anesthesia in 1844. He first saw it demonstrated at a traveling carnival by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardner_Quincy_Colton">Gardner Quincy Coulton</a>, a former medical student who would perform feats such as getting hopped up on laughing gas and letting audience members injure his leg. He would also take volunteers from the audience willing to experiment with the gas themselves. Wells saw the potential and began using the gas on his own patients, after first having his dental assistant take out one of his own teeth under the influence of the gas.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2hvwRsAas8uwnTR2k7ywSoLLSqH0hAlQoyfyMc8h0zYIliYRN_hP1o_O2Xus8rikhoSAfDnxErbTH_g2wbwsgnFyROcwXH8ML2EWFF0YZK_N8b5nbxsQh1lvTYx5s6R44sehzDJJa3WJ/s1600-h/laughing+gas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2hvwRsAas8uwnTR2k7ywSoLLSqH0hAlQoyfyMc8h0zYIliYRN_hP1o_O2Xus8rikhoSAfDnxErbTH_g2wbwsgnFyROcwXH8ML2EWFF0YZK_N8b5nbxsQh1lvTYx5s6R44sehzDJJa3WJ/s640/laughing+gas.jpg" width="388" /></a></div><br />
Wells was widely discredited in the medical community because he publicly demonstrated the use of nitrous during an extraction in which the gas was not administered properly. The patient cried out in pain and Wells was heckled from the operating theater, as people yelled "Humbug! Humbug!" It being the 1800s and all, I suppose they would have yelled "Huzzah!" if the procedure had been a smashing success. Thus having been disgraced, he left the dental profession for a few years, working as an itinerant salesman of household goods across Connecticut. The story of Wells does not end there, though.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGClFl5DglbDTIhDDjOtt2adSK3f-H8QXoHjzjwNJBjTDryFenzGTkzGnJrLBvv6cAIQzC2dZtNCzHf27TCktHRJuKtpSxTMpuiEK7IXZFLorhDgk5y3AnGtr_ytMauel83ENTH_OQSE9K/s1600-h/Horace+Wells+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGClFl5DglbDTIhDDjOtt2adSK3f-H8QXoHjzjwNJBjTDryFenzGTkzGnJrLBvv6cAIQzC2dZtNCzHf27TCktHRJuKtpSxTMpuiEK7IXZFLorhDgk5y3AnGtr_ytMauel83ENTH_OQSE9K/s320/Horace+Wells+2.jpg" width="206" /></a></div>He became hopelessly addicted to chloroform. I didn't know you could use that stuff for recreational purposes, but whatever, it was the 1800s. In 1848, he went on a one week chloroform bender, became deranged, wandered out into the streets and threw sulfuric acid at two prostitutes. As he came down from his chloroform high finding himself in prison, he realized the horror of what he had done and committed suicide. Conclusion: The 1800s were really awesome.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-63814013883096226142010-02-28T23:08:00.000-05:002010-02-28T23:08:19.702-05:00Some local flavorI'm very sorry to make you jealous, but tomorrow morning I am going to see the oral surgeon to have my two remaining wisdom teeth taken out. When I did the left side, I only had local anesthesia. This time, I have wised up and will be requesting an IV full of Valium and a man sized hit of nitrous. Hopefully the process will go better this time than the last.<br />
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I doubt I will be writing an entry tomorrow, as I will be on the mend. So tonight I thought it would be fun to write about a few odd things I saw in the neighborhood today. The first comes courtesy of the restroom at a local cafe. I was feeling down this morning and needed an affirmation. A little positive reinforcement. And that is what I saw this sign...<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-LpMz0tdd3-A6PsS8Ps4FD4L0utFMiT9nQ9vfRolUHXRr3C-GjW7t8DFbR6VwWGHhNM7FcFyZzI5ZPtPerdDeBttwyubsvAutuxpNiNZHkg7cFjlcrntlSMmMfFIrHGGCU15A7T1aO_Du/s1600-h/restroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-LpMz0tdd3-A6PsS8Ps4FD4L0utFMiT9nQ9vfRolUHXRr3C-GjW7t8DFbR6VwWGHhNM7FcFyZzI5ZPtPerdDeBttwyubsvAutuxpNiNZHkg7cFjlcrntlSMmMfFIrHGGCU15A7T1aO_Du/s320/restroom.jpg" /></a><br />
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<a name='more'></a> You know what? I am a respectful human being. Thank you for noticing, restaurant bathroom. On the way out of the cafe, I couldn't help but notice this poster...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNz-Nm65m2V_4C1PCHumDOIqRXyfwIxsnkz_G29W6AgQb6wjZRSoXSPE65WEAySpn2nKMxS2fDehNVF84iJRVTxRMnWvAN4xW94I-pfmxEyY4HkX_pP0RCnDfyO7hiq7zPwYHLWReN5cga/s1600-h/Tasos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNz-Nm65m2V_4C1PCHumDOIqRXyfwIxsnkz_G29W6AgQb6wjZRSoXSPE65WEAySpn2nKMxS2fDehNVF84iJRVTxRMnWvAN4xW94I-pfmxEyY4HkX_pP0RCnDfyO7hiq7zPwYHLWReN5cga/s320/Tasos.jpg" /></a></div>Actually, these posters have been plastered all over the neighborhood for weeks, advertising stops for this concert tour at various casinos across the country. For the unfamiliar, my neighborhood is a haven for Euro-persons, i.e. the target demographic for a performance of this type. A little bit of iPhone Google magic <a href="http://articles.courant.com/2010-02-18/entertainment/hc-casino0218.artfeb18_1_foxwoods-cellos-john-mayer">revealed</a> that Tasos Bougas is a Greek singer known as "Planitarhis" (the ruler of the planet). Apparently he rules a planet on which pictures such as the above are taken completely in earnest. Multiple gold bracelets? BluBlocker style shades? Ashy cigar? This man is living the good life.<br />
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His opening act, Kiss Madiam, is described by the above linked article only as a four piece band which won the second season of Greece Got Talent. They are attired as Kiss, and I assume there must be an interesting backstory there. There is a video clip available <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyoMmU-p-j4">here</a>. I suggest you watch it, as words don't begin to do it justice. From what I can gather (I don't speak Greek), they dress as Kiss and do Greek language covers of various pop songs and old standards, none of which are by Kiss.<br />
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Now check out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cGMdfqCPu4">this video</a> of Tasos Bougas. Again, there is a language barrier, but from what I can tell, this is a skit in which he plays a Bill Clinton sort of figure (in his capacity of ruler of the planet, no doubt) and does a send up of Monica Lewinsky. Honestly, I would consider going to this concert if given the opportunity. Imagine the stories.<br />
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Later in the day, I was in the drug store and noticed this lovely novelty item...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOxwFZMm43KtFdNnL7p9NPekUrfIezre5kr2JqNzMoibdQrm_n3DHQhVM2bGuy6hfBczikgYrvLlIvNaY13nffSoEtu4cdWU2VfGvOoD3881Mq_BGHkjxnfUJt1Uo4KGrubFodXt34mfxq/s1600-h/Frankie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOxwFZMm43KtFdNnL7p9NPekUrfIezre5kr2JqNzMoibdQrm_n3DHQhVM2bGuy6hfBczikgYrvLlIvNaY13nffSoEtu4cdWU2VfGvOoD3881Mq_BGHkjxnfUJt1Uo4KGrubFodXt34mfxq/s320/Frankie.jpg" /></a></div><br />
For those who don't recognize him, it's Frankie the Filet-o-Fish from the<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5FIy0Su6aI&feature=related"> unaccountably popular McDonald's commercial</a> which was a fixture of last year's Lenten season. Frankie is himself a take on the insufferable and unaccountably popular <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Mouth_Billy_Bass">Big Mouth Billy Bass</a> fad of about ten years ago. For those of discerning taste who wish to purchase either of these items, Frankie will <a href="http://www.buycostumes.com/Frankie-the-Fish/66266/ProductDetail.aspx">run you about 20 bucks</a>, whereas Billy is a collector's item no longer in production. So you'll have to shell out <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Big-Mouth-Billy-Bass-Sensation/dp/B000F792BG">40 to 60 bucks for him</a>. Or you could give me the money instead and I will sing annoying songs for you on demand. By the way, I find the Frankie commercial somewhat disturbing. The notion that the carcass of something I am about to eat is willing to sing for the recovery of his missing pieces does not sit well with me.<br />
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I close tonight with one last gem. I don't think that anyone would accuse me of being "green." But even though I am not a staunch environmentalist, I can recognize wasteful and unnecessary packaging when I see it...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTtxT2kz0MNOq-6GGhJBJp9rQsz7TjXmWZblNWtwzblZxwrnZ8mUxWny5L-Smg07h3NPuh43HWrFJ2oiHqsaxi5J13lDN5dJqQzAYE4s53GH-9ZungoZdj9VGFFqJgst-M9KNs3llswoYi/s1600-h/tissues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTtxT2kz0MNOq-6GGhJBJp9rQsz7TjXmWZblNWtwzblZxwrnZ8mUxWny5L-Smg07h3NPuh43HWrFJ2oiHqsaxi5J13lDN5dJqQzAYE4s53GH-9ZungoZdj9VGFFqJgst-M9KNs3llswoYi/s320/tissues.jpg" /></a></div>I present to you a single package of travel facial tissues packaged in a blister pack with a cardboard backing. And with that, I retire for the night. Fingers crossed for an easy tooth extraction.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1537550649625864977.post-65227371620988198992010-02-26T19:34:00.000-05:002010-02-26T19:34:15.399-05:00Mysterious Empty Mansions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7hmxYsupV-7uBR52eM6W_FruvZZXbwlZQ9868Mo5ablyD3LNZ8RGzGfP69Y5wFO68m1x_ClAeStO7WVWUj-FlaVhNorOXR4HjuBiChe5myBg1dNvHy4vxUAgLs95y6DKSbkGq87uRY2_d/s1600-h/1a.ss_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7hmxYsupV-7uBR52eM6W_FruvZZXbwlZQ9868Mo5ablyD3LNZ8RGzGfP69Y5wFO68m1x_ClAeStO7WVWUj-FlaVhNorOXR4HjuBiChe5myBg1dNvHy4vxUAgLs95y6DKSbkGq87uRY2_d/s320/1a.ss_full.jpg" /></a></div>Here's a <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35446674/ns/business/">cool story</a> I picked up from the MSNBC website. It is replete with copper magnates, political intrigue, and mysterious empty mansions. Huguette Clark is the only surviving heir of William A. Clark, who was a United States Senator and the second richest man in America way back in the days of the robber barons. Huguette is older than God, and has no heirs of her own. And no one knows where she is.<br />
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It is presumed that she is in a nursing facility somewhere, but any inquiries as to her whereabouts are rebuffed by her lawyer. He refuses to divulge her location even to her surviving relatives. She dropped out of the society pages in the 1950s, becoming a recluse and leaving behind her a trail of empty mansions. One of them is in California, and has never been lived in, yet has been maintained by caretakers for decades. She also had a lavish pad on Fifth Avenue and a Connecticut estate which she reportedly purchased as an escape from the horrors of a coming nuclear war with Russia. She is attempting to sell most of these properties for tens of millions of dollars, and hasn't lived in them for decades, if at all. She is about to turn 104 years old, but according to her lawyer has all of her faculties and regularly gives him instructions. Wherever she is.<br />
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The backstory is equally as cool. Her father, William A. Clark rose up from a modest upbringing in a log cabin to become a the copper king of Montana. He was one of the true robber barons, and cared for little but his own growing wealth. He was notorious for dispensing bribes, and bought his way into a United States Senate seat. He served for one term, though he insisted on being referred to as "Senator Clark" for the rest of his life. He moved his family to New York, and died at 86 years of age. He was laid to rest in a cemetery next to Woolworths and Astors. Definitely worth checking out the full story and cool pictures <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35446674/ns/business//">here</a>. Be sure to click on the "photo narrative" version at the top of the page to view the slideshow.Billzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18151209263993294998noreply@blogger.com2