The Harmful Rays of the Moral Vacuum

The Harmful Rays of the Moral Vacuum
Please be advised that for your safety you must exit this blog on foot, calmly and quickly.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Nothing But the Tooth

Happy MLK Day to those of you who have off or are otherwise observing.  I celebrated the day by having two of my wisdom teeth extracted.  Up until recently, I used to say that they could have my teeth when they killed me.  However, my dentist told me that one of the teeth, which was impacted, was showing signs of decay.  I didn't want to allow a minor problem now to become a major one later on.

I am a very bad patient.  I have always had a hard time around doctors and dentists.  However, I am irrationally afraid of being put under.  So I decided to have the teeth taken out while under local anesthesia.  The resultant combination was not fun, to say the least.  The top tooth was not impacted, so the oral surgeon decided to take that one out first.  The tooth did not go without a fight.  I don't want to be too graphic, but it took a lot of physical effort on his part to get it out. 

The bottom one had to be broken up with a drill because it was impacted.  The tooth itself came out with no problems, but one of the roots was very difficult.  Again, I fully acknowledge that I am a difficult patient, but I thought I was being really good under the circumstances.  However, the surgeon kept yelling at me for moving away from him.  Also, he was yelling at the nurse.  He said "I can't fight both of you!"  I felt bad for her because she probably has to go through such things every day.

My verdict after having the first two wisdom teeth out is that although the procedure is not painful, it is a psychologically rough thing to go through.  You are one hundred percent aware of everything they are doing.  And I mean everything.  At one point, I looked up at the doctor and noticed that my blood droplets had splashed on his face.  As he was removing the teeth, the song "Stuck in the Middle" by Stealers Wheel came on the radio.  Fans of "Reservoir Dogs" will understand the grim significance.

After the procedure, the nurse helped me clean myself up.  I joked that I looked like the prom scene in Carrie.  She told me that if the bleeding does not stop, I should wrap a tea bag in gauze and press it to the wound.  So just for the record, she instructed me to tea bag myself.  I am very tired and I'm going to lie down.  But I leave you with this classic clip courtesy of a young boy who is doubtless braver than I.

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